Wheely bloody annoying

Let me make this clear, the idea of putting wheels on to heavy suitcases was a moment of genius for whoever came up with it. For anybody who has gone on holiday for a fortnight or more (or, like me, regularly travels with a wife who is incapable of packing less than half a tonne of clothes and toiletries for even the shortest trips) they are a spinal injury saving necessity.

BUT...let's be clear about something else too - your briefcase or laptop bag does not need to be dragged along on wheels behind you, tripping up your fellow commuters and generally getting in the bloody way, you lazy bastard!!

Honestly, I've seen bags so small that the telescopic handle has to be almost as tall as its owner. Pick it up and carry it you idiot, perhaps if you did you wouldn't be so fat.

The worst examples I've seen occur at Euston station, my local stop. Most of these clowns can't even take a pace away from the top of the escalator before dropping that oh-so-heavy make-up bag to the floor then extracting the handle while everybody else falls over each other to get out of the way.

All those armed coppers that frequently hassle anybody looking vaguely Muslim at Euston should turn their attention to these other total menaces. If the wheely bag is found to weigh less than a couple of kilos they should take it outside and shoot the wheels off, or maybe just torch the whole thing.

Big car...small brain

Had to admit a certain grim satisfaction at the news that Toyota is canning the "slow selling" Previa in the UK.

Thank God for that, what a bloody ridiculously over-sized, pointless load of bollocks it is.

We've got one of them in our street, owned by two short-arses (who can barely see over the steering wheel) who use it to ferry their TWO - yes two - kids around. That's two kids, not an entire rugby team, all of whom could easily fit into that great hulking monstrosity.

Neither of the two idiots is capable of handling the beast. I've actually seen the wife use the cars parked either side as bump pads to guide her in parking it....Jesus Christ woman you may not care if your car looks like it's just done a school run in Baghdad but others do. And their total inability to park it usually means they give up after a few attempts with it sticking out into the road like a mobile chicane. I felt like running out with a f*cking gangplank to help them onto the pavement the other day...

The Previa and its over-sized people-carrier ilk are the evil on our urban roads, even more than the "Chelsea Tractor" 4x4. So if you see one make sure to give it the finger...hopefully it'll be our neighbours.